Dear Ana

20 May

Submitted by one of the many personalities of Anon A. Mouse

Dear Ana,

I thought our relationship was real. As I stood in front of the mirror sobbing, my every insecurity magnified, I truly believed that you could fix me. You told me that if I invested inDear Ana our friendship, if I protected you, then you would make me beautiful.

Over the past year you have become my closest friend, the only one that I could rely on. You understood me. You could hear my voice, my cries when I thought they were silent. I never had that connection with anyone before. Throughout those long nights, when I felt cold, desperate and alone, you were there for me, hugging me, and you never let go.

I can’t believe it took me two full years to see the truth behind your hugs. In reality, you were grasping my body with all of your strength. It was a suffocating hug, with no breathing room, consuming my stomach until there was almost nothing left. Every day, living with you was like a competition. You convinced me that I could only be beautiful if I ate 500 calories. Soon enough, that number dropped to 400…300…200…100…10…0. 

Ana, you practically murdered me and left the slow, painful beats of my heart striking my chest. You sucked every element of my life from me- you stole my passion and determination, you stole my personality and any element of self-respect that I had hidden away. I let you control my words, because I wasn’t capable of forming them on my own anymore. Soon enough, the throbbing made its way to my head-capturing every last ability to think for myself. My soft, tan skin turned pale and discolored. My eyes drooped with bags, as if I hadn’t slept in days. Long strands of my hair began falling out one by one. This was the new me, and you convinced me that I was beautiful. If I kept going for 2 more days, I would be even more beautiful.

Today I woke up to the sound of the hospital’s machines regulating my heart beat. They said that I’m going to be here for a while, and I know that you can’t stay with me. I’m not one to abandon friends, best friends, but now I’m wondering if there was any truth to our friendship to begin with. After all, friendships aren’t supposed to be a secret, are they? I’m turning my back on you Ana, along with your ridiculous rules and outrageous expectations. Please don’t keep in touch, it’ll only make things worse.

Regretfully Yours,
Me

The Essence of Beauty

19 May

What do you consider beautiful?
So I’m listening to girls in my class talk about a concert one of them attended lady night. Not my scene. But anyway, I’m sitting nearby munching on cereal (chocolatey) and getting a recap of the concert. And the girl who attended the concert is talking about this singer’s moves. “Totally not ok” she says. The other girl agrees. Her moves are not appropriate. So not. She wasn’t even wearing pants apparently. Just boots? Did I hear that wrong? And so I’m sitting, nodding my head at their assessment, and then I’m totally taken aback. “But she is sooo beutiful” my concert going companion says. And her friend nods her head and goes, a little wistfully “yeah I know.”and I’m floored. Beautiful? You’re calling her beautiful? Really? And now I’m faced with a conundrum of society. How is it possible that what is totally not ok is beautiful? And maybe that’s why no one ever feels beautiful. Because everyone is chasing this messed up view of beauty. And I think that when you’re standing on a stage with thousands of girls staring up at you, in nothing but boots, you can’t honestly feel beautiful. Because beauty is an adornment. You can only beautify something if there is substance to beautify.
When Bnei Yisrael sang to Hashem after crossing the yam suf, they sang out “Zeh Keli v’Anvehu,” “this is my G-D and we will beautify Him.” When the Torah uses the word “zeh” “this” it means there is something tangible to point at. Bnei Yisrael could see Hashem so clearly, so tangibly, that they could adorn Him. The concept of hiddur mitzvah follows this logic. You can beautify the mitzvah, you can make it spectacular and extraordinary, but only if the mitzvah itself is still visible among the crystal and flowers.
Beauty for the sake of beauty isn’t beautiful. It misses the point. When you have substance, when you have essence- then you can go ahead and beautify it. And it will be the subtle beauty that exalts your essence without overpowering it. Boots instead of pants? That shows that there is no substance. It is external with no internal. It is a shell. And therefore, no matter how pouty her lips or luscious her hair, how on earth is she beautiful?

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Parshas Naso

17 May

By Dina Siegel
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Parshas Naso is the longest Parsha in the entire Torah. Many of the Pesukim detail the offerings that the Nesiim brought during the inauguration of the Mishkan. The Torah records the gifts of each Nasi even though they were exactly identical. Why is it necessary for the Torah to specify what each Nasi brought if they all brought the same Korban?
Ramban comments that all of the Nesiim had the idea to bring the same Korban at the same time. Additionally, although each Korban contained the same components, each Nasi had his own intentions in bringing it. The action was the same, but it had a different meaning for each Shevet. The Korban was, therefore, unique all 12 times.

The world seems to reward results. The person who gets better grades or owns a bigger home is looked upon with higher regard. Hashem, however, takes into account our efforts and intentions. When you work hard for something, it doesn’t matter how your success measures up to someone else’s.
Hashem is showing us the importance of intentions by listing the same Korbanos 12 times. The second Nasi could have looked at the Korban of the first Nasi and reacted in two different ways; he could have brought a bigger Korban or given up and not brought one at all. Both of these responses would be understandable. He could have felt like his gift would be useless. People don’t appreciate getting two of the same present, let alone 12! These Pesukim teach us that it doesn’t matter what we give, but rather what our motivations are.
It’s easy to give up when you don’t see the outcome of your hard work, but remember that the work also has value. When you have good intentions, that’s what counts in the ultimate picture.
Have a great Shabbos!

Video

Free Yourself Video

14 May

This past Pesach (5773) we asked you to submit photos, telling us what it is you were going to free yourself from this year. As you enter into Shavous, remember the commitments that you made, and don’t let yourself become imprisoned again.
Remember- you are a one and only.

http://www.imaoneandonly.org

Parshas Bamidbar

10 May

By Dina Siegel
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For 6 weeks we have been counting. This week we begin Sefer Bamidbar, or Numbers, as it is called in English. The connection to between Bamidbar and Numbers is apparent from the very beginning of the Parsha. In the second Pasuk, Hashem commands Moshe to count Bnai Yisrael.
This seems to be a strange command. Why would Hashem want to count Bnai Yisrael?
Rashi explains that Hashem counted Bnai Yisrael out of love for them. Not only does Hashem love us, but He wants us to know it. This Rashi raises a question. Why would Hashem choose to display his love specifically at this point?
In this week’s Parsha, the Torah records the transition of the Avodah in the Bais Hamikdash from the Bechorim to the Leviim. The Leviim are given their elevated position. The Torah details the process of substituting each Levi for a Bechor. It also discusses the specific jobs of each family of Leviim. At this point, it’s possible that the Yisraelim would feel small in Hashem’s eyes. They might not feel Hashem’s love for them. Hashem comes to challenge this assumption. From the very beginning of the Parsha we are told that Hashem loves all of Bnai Yisrael.
Additionally, even if the Yisraelim were on a level that they understood Hashem’s love for them, we the reader of the Torah might question Hashem’s equal love for all of Bnai Yisrael. For this reason we are told from the very beginning of Hashem’s love. When reading through the Parsha we might think that Hashem is “favoring” the Leviim, we see from the onset, however, that the reality is otherwise.
Every person, no matter his status, is worthy of Hashem’s love. There are times when we might not feel this love, but we can learn from the Leviim that it is always there. Even when we feel low in our eyes or in the eyes of the world around us, we still have that equal, unchanging measure of love from Hashem. If Hashem who knows every person’s struggles and shortcomings still loves each and every Jew, we who see a limited picture have an obligation to love every person.
Have a great Shabbos and an inspiring Shavuos!
A few practical tips:
• Do a favor for someone out of love and not obligation
• Remember that you are always loved
• Do something nice for someone that you find hard to love

The Reflection

9 May

Submitted by one of the many personalities of Anon A. Mouse

I hear her voice,mirror
As it blasts through my eardrums
I try to stay strong,
But my confidence falls apart
“You’re an embarrassment”,
She barks
As if I don’t understand
“Do you ever stop eating,
Or were you born a monster?”
I suck in my stomach,
And try to stand tall
“You’re still ugly”,
She calls
“Don’t even bother”.
Stop right there,
Who is this girl?
Who gave her the right,
To tear me apart?
What a cruel,
Insensitive person
How could one girl,
Be so terrible?
I grab hold,
Of her slender wrist,
But all I can feel,
Is the coolness of the air
I see her body,
In the reflection of the mirror
And I see the movement of my lips,
As I scream in frustration.
The voice of the cruel,
Insensitive girl
Resides within my own,
Body of insecurities.

Parshas Behar

3 May

By Dina Siegel

communication

 

 

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